Good Natured

I don't like being told I'm personally responsible for the extinction of all the animals on the planet. I had nothing to do with it! Blame the poachers who are out there killing these majestic creatures, not me sitting at home watching YouTube videos on how to use properly use eyedrops without blinking. Like, do I own an antique chess set made from real ivory? Sure. But that doesn't mean I'm personally responsible for all the elephants dying out. Get off my back Greenpeace.

Like recently, the last Sumatran Rhino in the wild died. And some WWF official said "humans are strictly to blame for this". No we're not! It's just the poachers who are to blame! Now, do I have a 7 foot tall sculpture of Shaquille O'Neal made entirely of Sumatran Rhino horns at the foot of my bed? Yes. But that does NOT mean I'm responsible for the death of every single Sumatran rhino ever.

Or how about those Bengal tigers that recently died out and they blamed us all for? How many people have even seen a tiger? Why is it our fault? Now, did I launch my own Bengal Tiger poaching conglomerate in late 2009? Absolutely I did. But I refuse to be sold down the river over a MEASLY ten thousand tiger pelts. Or how about these pandas that are just refusing to have sex? Is that on us now? Is it really?

Now.....do I sneak into the enclosures at the zoo each night, and just before Ling Ling is about to stick it into Pan Pan, do I start showing Ling Ling photos of his grandmother and totally kill the mood? Absolutely I do, but I REFUSE to take the blame for this.